I hit a wall, and it was effin big

Well, there isn't an easy way to say this, but I was given an ultimatum. I won't get into the details ( did write about it but decided it be better to not post it). So, the gist of the situation is, I will be getting a job this week.

I actually wrote this blog post several days ago, but had to sit on it or I would have said some things I probably would have regretted. I also think the amount of commitment and the amount of work that it takes to get a small business up and running is more than many people are will accept. It is also pretty obvious I don't have the full undying support from my family. But the most disappointing part is that reality has reared it's ugly head and bitten me right square in the ass.

I have been given notice. I have to have a job by next week or bad things may happen.

Yes, the reality of food on the table is rearing it's ugly head. But I am so damn close to getting the photography thing going I can actually see it.

I have been working 60+ hours a week trying to find a studio location, make model/photographer connections, meet with makeup artists, hair stylists, and just last week I finally found someone in the fashion industry. I understand I can't eat dreams or feast on possibilities. But it seems that around every corner a door has opened up.

I had two meetings set up for next Monday with two new makeup artists. I was suppose to have met with the fashion person too sometime next week. But now, it may all be for naught. I made a promise to have a job by the end of next week.....

To many, it's a "yeah, that's what I do anyway". For me, it's pushing the pause on a goal I have had for the 25 years. I was finally able to begin pursuing that goal, and I feel it's getting tossed aside.

I am pretty beside myself at this point. Almost an out of body experience. Or it could be the cold medicine talking.